I guess this is what itslike to be her. I’m lost, I’m alone when everyone is around. Fuck, its like maybe I’m being a little dramatic but weren’t you the first time you were hurt? On top of that my anxiety is through the fucking roof again. I’m beginning to think everything is a fucking lie. No regrets right? It was fun right? This is so much deeper to me than that.. I know I don’t fucking show it but shit man I fucking care. What’s even more depressing.. is that I don’t feel like I can trust anyone. I’m not trippin, i don’t think I’m gonna get fucked over.. but really, be real. Go ahead and say what you mother fuckers are really thinking.. cause apparently I don’t get the hint that was so obvious to you and all of your friends.. at least they tell me how ya feel like gah damn. How we stop waisting time.. and get to what you really fucking think. I mean you tell everyone else but me what you’re thinking… why not me? Why do you make me wonder how/when/or why I fucked something up.. what is there to fucking hide? Because there is no shame.. no judgement.. not a bat of an eyelash than I would put on you.. I never made you crazy.. I never made you hopeless, I NEVER LET GO! I NEVER GAVE UP! So howcan you just toss what I see as so much, to the side like its nothing. I’m so fucked in the head right now.. I got no where to run.. you were my only escape.
The worst fucking pain I’ve ever felt is having to wake up every fucking day only to want to die. But I can’t.. So I just wait.. Day after day.. So many thoughts.. I’m not okay.. I’m freaking the fuck out.